its a mess

2012-01-20T21:15:00.000+08:00

please dont lead me on, please dont bother to be too nice and sweet, please just be painfully blunt about how you feel so i can stop thinking that something might just happen and turn things around.
you are incredibly hard to understand, maybe im just creating all these drama for myself, maybe its just me.
my insecurities are eating me alive.

you're lovely, im lonely.

What do you do to stay fit?

2012-01-12T22:21:00.001+08:00

i exercise my fingers on the keyboard, and i move my mouth alot.

Ask me anything

i need consistency

2012-01-11T20:29:00.000+08:00

heyyy school has been so tiring and sian so far, second week came and everything was thrown, like, THROWN, EVERYTHING THROWN TO US

wtf got like 4 research essays to do for the year, math and chem to catch up on, literature to understand, bio to memo, VA sketchbooks to be updated regularly and thoughts to be placed in ceramic works, OSL and IA. wtf everything i gotta balance on my head while trying to be nice, look pleasant and not wake up late for school.

lyfe of a pre IB student. imagine what the yr 4s and 5s are doing lololololll

i dont have too much positive energy to channel when it comes to talking about the curriculum this year. and for art, for once, im scared that i wont do well. my ceramic teacher seems to be talking down on me, and judging me for whatever i say or do. and she's bias to a certain extent. so im pretty much doomed this year.

fuck.

but i will work hard, i need to do well. i will not fall.

2012, i will make you a good year with my hard work.

please send some love to my formspring <3 i need encouragement and advices desperately

no more time for me?

F

2012-01-05T22:04:00.000+08:00

im so lost right now i've got no idea what topic i'm going to choose for my IRE, well actually which direction to head and i hate this feeling of being lost but i can't help but feel lost. omg and my bloody toothache isn't helping fml i hate the situation im in now.
i dont know whether year four will be a good year at all.
gosh 2012 please i beg you please be pleasant.

oh on a second note, Happy 16th Birthday Sammy <3

Would you rather text or talk?

2012-01-04T18:18:00.001+08:00

i'm not very much a text person, but i do occasionally chat up with friends through texts, phone calls are meh. i prefer talking in person! :) but hahaha it REALLY really depends who it is.

Ask me anything

2011 visuals

2012-01-03T18:26:00.001+08:00

i know im kinda late but these are the 2011 visuals that i kop-ed from facebook yesterday night.

2011 has been a good year i'd say with a couple of ups and downs, challenges, fights, met new people but lost a few friends but that's life isn't it?

but i'm really really thankful for the people i've met, teachers, friends, and a few really good and inspiring people i want to keep. i grateful for the fact that i've met people who genuinely care, and bother to try to keep our relationship strong and not drift away. i might not be the loveliest person you guys have met, but i really hope i brought joy into your life at some point in time, because you guys definitely did.

thank you jiawen, mindy, samantha, nicholas, chengying, clare, cherie, minying, selma, xinrui, szehui, yunnan OIP kids, minying, wailing, liyan and of course O5 '11.

i hope that 2012 will bring joy to you people because you guys deserve it.

very last of 2011

2011-12-31T18:18:00.001+08:00

here are the visuals from yesterday @ sentosa with Mindy and Cherie!

look like some baldy here but me thinks me collarbones are some what decent

today started out pretty bad, clearing my room while sneezing continuously and getting all sweaty. then sorta made plans to meet xinrui and szehui tonight as we wait for 2012 to approach, then planned the menu for tomorrow night's family dinner! cant wait im pretty excited! after that met sam for island creamery at serene centre, good catchup session i would say, before she goes to meet nic. waiting for parents to come home now before we head for dinner @ pepperoni hopefully! :>

well, today wasnt as bad as i thought, and i dont want people who's intention and feelings im unsure about to be with me at these moments, because i dont want to ruin my memory of a generally pleasant year, but maybe its just me.

2011 was a generally good year with tiny ups and downs. but ive got to admit it wasn't a very exciting year. sure i did meet a couple of new but close friends, grown more mature and think about things a lot more, had really long hair, did some ballsy stuff, tried new things, failed, made decisions, but i don't think that i did something that i'd remember for a long time.

so my resolution for the next year is to do something that'll make an impact in my life, make an impression, try something really new, work hard definitely. i want to do something and seize opportunities, so hopefully my life would tweak a bit. good or bad i dont know, but i will want to definitely have stories to tell.

but hopefully 2012 would be great :>

301211

2011-12-30T23:26:00.000+08:00

hello babies
getting late and im probably going to run a fever tomorrow so im going to get some rest and rescue my eye bags from getting bigger and darker. will blog about Sentosa with Mindy and Cherie tomorrow hopefully! and probably my resolutions, which we all know, never work out. ya la ya la my hair is horrid.

nighty,

Chingyi

*note to self:

Do not get too attached, needy, affected, and upset.

get your priorities right chingyi,

you don't need someone to depend on you whiny bitch.

The worst lie someone has said to you...?

2011-12-29T22:20:00.001+08:00

"you look just fine"

Ask me anything

my chances >50%

2011-12-29T17:34:00.005+08:00

hello gaiz how are you doing
what i wore out for some meat balls and a 50/50 yesterday!
it was a sad movie, and it was M18, and we got the tickets lollol badass huh?
met minying @ cine, that girl never fail to surprise me every time i see her! then got ice cream after the movie at island creamery hohoho no plans on dieting yet this is quite, actually very bad.

im feeling very insecure right now, about how i look, the way i speak, how im not being smart or witty enough, not tall or skinny or pretty enough, not being able to express myself in the clearest way possible, sometimes it gets me pretty bad. and i have no idea whether the way people respond to me is genuine. but this phase shall pass.
shall actually try to start on my work since school starts next week.
its hard, but try to be nice to everyone, because everyone is fighting their own battle.

feel free to leave some love for me on formspring & tumblr <3<3

no more purple hair :(

2011-12-26T14:23:00.002+08:00

hurhur funzzz on photobooth

hai gaiz howz your chritzmaz everybadehz

lol

spent yesterday afternoon with sammy in my room eating her christmas packed lunch <3 dip was so good hoho then went over to her place for a little while and then holland village :> love that place

spent dinner @ everything with fries and then lepaked in the alley sitting on two metal chairs, just talking and eating grapes lol

then skyped for abit at night before bed <3

today's 'highlight' of the day will be my haircut. fuck.

a first

2011-12-25T13:58:00.006+08:00

its been a long time since i've blogged, well a year long already actually.

well, merry christmas guys! hope you guys are having a lovely time with your loved ones today. christmas this year isn't actually very exciting, well not that it was ever exciting, but this year i guess is pretty bad. did some shopping on xmas eve, then things started getting bad from there. whole family were sort of moody, and i didnt really talk to anyone at night, ate left over lunch for dinner, didnt receive any mails, sam was over at her boy's, cy was out, then i got all moody that even when mindy started talking to me i didnt even budge. sorry dear i wasnt in the mood yesterday :( all i did yesterday after shopping was to stay in my room, spend my time on the internet and spend time with my sketchbook and art supplies.
well at least i got something out of the day other than shopping, which was talking to my rambutan @ 12 over the phone for an hour and a half, ranted and listened, so it felt good and best of all i collapsed right after the phone call so i didnt think so much about unnecessary stuff that might not even need me to worry about.
but im really happy for samantha that she found her possible partner hahaha nicholas seems like a lovely person that matched her personality very well. hopefully this happiness is a long lived one, because you deserve this gift sammy ♥

so yep that's that. ive been thinking about having a space to rant since im not too sure whether people i love this year would leave me the next, so in case i dont have anyone to talk to i have this personal space, sort of for me to just release.
but yeh, might be interesting if i have the time to update regularly next year! i was thinkin about doing OOTDs but who reads this space right. HA joke chingyi.

well, merry christmas again love ☺